Saturday, May 2, 2009

2 a.m.

Knowing when to hold my tongue has never been my strong suit..unless its a secret.

These secrets fall into 2 categories.
1. Other people's secrets
2. My feelings

The first category is a plague I have been struck with as a result of being a good friend/listener and being able to offer some kick ass advice on a plethora of topics. These secrets are not mine to tell..so it makes it pretty easy to keep them to myself. Confiders beware: I am not responsible for what comes out if you happen to screw me over..lesson - don't screw over people that you tell your dirt to..not smart.

The second category is more complex.
No, I don't keep in all my emotions. I am a very lively person and often suffer from foot-in-mouth syndrome, which is a nice break from wearing my heart on my sleeve phrenia (see: the college years). However, in the interest of keeping friendships sometimes I feel the need..nay the responsibility, to keep my mouth shut.

It's not that I lie to people, I just sometimes don't share the whole truth..especially with the men in my life. Full disclosure with males have proven to be less than ideal over the last few years, and this is a plight that unfortunately guys in my life now have to deal with. I'm pretty sure they have it coming. After all these years of being walked on, poisoned, stabbed, pushed in front of semi trucks, crashed into by high-powered vehicles of mass transit (all metaphorical..); I know that I deserve to be a little bit of a bitch.

This hasn't stopped me from walking on eggshells for select few men that have proved to have staying power. But everyone has a breaking point. Mine usually come after one too many drinks, after an emotionally charged week (stay tuned for: Why Weight Loss Makes Me Angry). I don't like to be that chica that's always complaining about what your doing wrong, or how I feel (using feeling words cause me to baby barf). Unfortunately for you, if it takes me getting drunk to finally tell you whats on my mind..I won't apologize for that. At least I'm being honest. That's more than most get (or deserve). Embrace it. This is a perfect opportunity to get into a legitimate sanctioned no-holds-bar screaming match with me about why I shouldn't be allowed to communicate after consuming alcohol..

Someone very smart once said, No good decisions are made after 2 a.m.