Friday, April 23, 2010

Living in The Shadow of Love..and Not Loving It!

As I am prepared to spend the rest of eternity single, the idea of being acutally alone never really popped up in my survey of the fine print- I always pictured a few people along for the ride.  So what happens when one of those chosen few finds a love interest and changes the status quo?

Currently, my on-again, off-again emotional crutch turned quite necessary and accomodating amigo has decided to take the road less traveled (ok so untraveled for me)and date in a non-casual, completely commital type of way.
It's not that I begrudge his choice to expand his happiness options (which I have felt the dramatic need to ensure him), or that i'm pining away for him (I think we've beaten that horse dead) - but, HELLO!  misery does love company, and by that it should be clearly understood that there is silent "single" in front of the word company.  Obviously, there's the completely rational fear of him abandoning me to keeping in mind..
On a more personal note - if he decides that this girl is the cliched "one," let's be honest, i'm no match for love.  Translation: i'm going to be minus one pretty crucial person in my life. 

I had a friend who once told me that you know you're ready to be in a serious relationship when you're willing to let go of your opposite sex friends - I think that's bullshit.  Although, at this moment I am obviously lacking optimism (thus my choice to indugle in Cold Stone this evening) and i'm not so confident on this being a winning battle.  Unfortunately, with finals right around the corner and the delicate line between being a 4.0 grad student and not-so-much teetering ever so slightly in my unfavor - I am unable to exert myself in such capacity involving saving my friendship until at least May. 10th.  Hmmm...maybe it's a sign.  Well as I tell him; que sera, sera.

Stay tuned! ::dramatic cliffhanger music::