Monday, June 29, 2009

Who's that Girl with the Broken Smile?

"Jaded" ::sigh:: is the replacement word in my vocabulary for the word "ruined." A good friend of mine recently applied it to me, apparently she wasn't so keen on the negative connotation associated with the word I had previously used to describe myself in the relationship sense. I guess that makes sense. Ruined is kinda like destroyed, or beyond repair..that doesn't really apply to me..not anymore. I used to blame my history for making me that way; my tendency to chase the bad guys, instead of run away like I should most girls would have.

Now, only jaded, it feels more hopeful. Like Prince Charming hasn't been hit by a truck. Like i'm not sentenced to a life of solitude for ignoring the biological fight-or-flight principle. More carefully guarding my thoughts, and finding it hard to trust may present certain problems in the getting-to-know-eachother process..but honestly let's be real, there are a lot of jerks out there! And considering my judgement when it comes to the men I attract..having a little extra protection can't hurt ;)


Working for a public school system definitely has it's benefits. The shining star among them being the stellar 3-ish months off for summer vacation. However comma I've been using my time wisely, and lately the concept of making my outsides match my insides has become my number one priority. More than a priority really..a motivation. THE motivation I've been waiting for to start taking an active role in my own happiness.

Now I realize that everyone has heard the line "looks aren't everything," but who really wants to look in the mirror and be dissatisfied with what they see. Does anyone really think to themselves "I'm perfectly happy being unhappy" ?? This is not to say that people can't be happy being pleasantly plump or live perfectly satisfying lives..but I'm not one of those people. Although I know that I'm not really as large as my mind sometimes allows me to believe, I also am entirely aware of the fact that I'm not as in shape or toned or slim as I could be with a small amount of effort on my part.

In a response to my newer - and very rational - form of thinking, I am taking full advantage of my, let's face it otherwise pretty empty, current schedule and hitting the gym with a more fervent attitude. Realizing that being jaded (stay tuned for a blog about that term) would shine trough a little less if my body could reflect more of my upbeat, ridiculously overly optimistic, and passionate personality a little more. That right now, not sometime in the future, is the perfect time to concentrate on my happiness, and let the chips fall where they might in other areas of my life.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Homophobia..that's so gay!

The state of California has made the headlines as of late for something other than being broke..

Miss California has finally got the boot!

Although she believes that it is because of her personal views toward gay marriage, i'm not convinced. Being in the public eye is all about how you handle yourself under pressure. After her lame excuse for an appropriate response at the Miss USA pageant, she simply failed to carry herself in a manner that deemed her worthy of her "crown". This would have been a perfect time for her to save face by calling a press conference or some other type of press junket, and explaining that she was more than anything unprepared for the question and at that point re-answered the question in a more self-flattering way. At the same time, she could have made it a priority to apologize to anyone that may have been offended at her poor answer. Although she would have had to admit wrong doing on her part, she would have come out on top and ultimately appeared even somewhat humble. Instead, not only did she

I think this says a lot about our country and how far we have come, that an industry historically criticized for being all about appearance took an actual stand on poor behavior. It's a step in the right direction!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Confession de Celeb

Yesterday, (after working out..of course) I went to see 17 Again with my moms.

I must confess that I am totally, irrevocably (from my word of the day calendar...or quite possibly stolen from the Twilight movie that I have certaintly not watched 50 times already..right ::looks away and points at something shiny::) in lust with Zack Efron!

I am definitely digging his swagger..who knew?!

Anyways, keep up the hottness kidd! ..and i'll keep watching:)