Today at work, while discussing my love life - a subject the older women can't get enough of - one of them interjected, "I've never seen a generation more wrapped up in there careers and eduction, and less interested in romance than yours." This of course was a response to my, "I think it would be nice to have a summer romance." A notion that they all immediately dismissed as being "old school." I tried to explain that I am looking at my future and its in a transition point, that my life is a series of "well if this comes to fruition, than I'll take this path, if not I'll go down this road." There is enough uncertainty in my life without adding the strain that a relationship could add to my already weighted decisions.
From there perspective, a summer romance in contemporary terms is only a physical thing, that the guy would just assume I'm using him for his money. How this fits with being future oriented? No idea! Finally, I gave up my argument and had to walk away.
This is just an example of how older generations may be more than a little confused by the 20-30s crowd. The future is important. Careers, education, success - all things that matter, and maybe more than ever. That's not saying that traditional relationships have went out of the window, but not everyone is looking for a long term commitment. It's not exactly as if I am NOT looking for "the real thing," but there are a lot of things up in the air and I don't think there's anything wrong with just wanting someone to spend time with; someone that may or may not be part of that future. Obviously, you can't control your emotions, at least not completely. There is a chance that a summer romance can turn into something more, but is it really that offensive of an idea, monotonous casual dating with the understanding that if something professionally or educationally comes up it that might be it?
Sometimes the best memories are moments that just were what they were, nothing more, nothing less.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Day 103: Light at the End of the Tunnel
If you've been following my journey of non-shopping, then you may be aware that my personal shopping hiatus ends in just two weeks. 103 days strong and still going. I can't say that this experience was exactly what I imagined going into it. I pictured shopping cravings to hit like food cravings, and desperate pleas in the form of text messages and e-mailed wish lists to go out starting from Day 8. For the most part, it has been pretty smooth sailing.
Although, there were definitely moments that I felt an urge to throw on some shoes, grab my purse and plunge into the depths of shopping, I've maintained a pretty consistent low key lifestyle over the last few months. Right now, the effort to stay clam during the sea of final papers that are swirling around my desk is definitely helping the cause. I have no more time to contemplate the latest styles than I do to have an all-weekend movie marathon. With crunch time upon me, it's eases the focus on other superficial areas of my life.
I had planned to lift my ban on May 4th, however, finals in mind - May 10 after finals are over seem more appropriate (and even, since I began on January 10th).
Too bad I never found a generous sponsor..
Although, there were definitely moments that I felt an urge to throw on some shoes, grab my purse and plunge into the depths of shopping, I've maintained a pretty consistent low key lifestyle over the last few months. Right now, the effort to stay clam during the sea of final papers that are swirling around my desk is definitely helping the cause. I have no more time to contemplate the latest styles than I do to have an all-weekend movie marathon. With crunch time upon me, it's eases the focus on other superficial areas of my life.
I had planned to lift my ban on May 4th, however, finals in mind - May 10 after finals are over seem more appropriate (and even, since I began on January 10th).
Too bad I never found a generous sponsor..
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Air of Possibility
Spring is in the air, the heat is turned off, and little purple flowers have popped up all over my backyard (which generally indicates that I don't mow the grass enough) but my favorite part of this time of year is that it smells like..
possibilities!
Spring has a funny way of making everything seem like it has potential. Although the year started 4 months ago, spring always brings in a fresh perspective. Spring cleaning is a term that can be attached to more than your closet or home (but those are good places to start).
Get off your behind and smell the metaphorical flowers!
possibilities!
Spring has a funny way of making everything seem like it has potential. Although the year started 4 months ago, spring always brings in a fresh perspective. Spring cleaning is a term that can be attached to more than your closet or home (but those are good places to start).
Get off your behind and smell the metaphorical flowers!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
How To Get Over Yourself
To get out of my current funk, I have compiled a list of things to do - to get over yourself. Yes, I said yourself. In my experience, most funks are self-induced.
1. Stop Procrastinating! Don't put off anything that you can do in a minute or less - just don't. For example: Pick up your dirty clothes that you threw off in a fit of late-for-something-ness and left loitering in the middle of your bedroom. If you don't take care of it now, than later you may look back at it as the origins of a massive pile-o-laundry that has been accumulating in your boudoir for the last 37 days.
2. Rock Out! Turn on some classic 90s alternarock legend like hmm Limp Bizkit or Korn or Smells Like Teen Spirit, get up, and actually move your body. I said move, not sway. In fact, jump around and for five minutes (or longer which is probably recommended, but depending on your health status of course) forget that things aren't necessarily going your way. Like Elle Woods said, "exercise causes endorphins, endorphins make you happy." So go ahead and trick your body, give yourself permission.
3. Drink All Your Troubles Away! No I don't suggest you go out (or stay in) and be a drunken loner in the very my-life-is-a-movie type of way - no background music will begin to play to indicate your mood. Go out with a friend(s), order a mid-size, mid-priced margarita and talk until you realize that maybe some of your funk is stemming from quite silly notions. At the very least this is another great opportunity to trick your body into thinking everything is peachy, and maybe your head will follow. May I suggest a deeply intellectual conversation about something completely superficial that may spark something genuinely interesting in the end.
4. Brush Your Shoulder Off! Like the profoundly popular Jay-Z had us singing. Which in my interpretation means "go shopping!" What better way to get the dirt of your shoulder e.g. your clothes, than buy some new ones. Shopping can be a very zen-like experience if you let it be. Go alone, people only ruin it for you. Enjoy browsing through racks, finding great deals, perhaps picking up a gift for someone special (i.e. your mom - Mother's Day is coming up). You can even make this one interesting, go antiquing or thrift store hunting. Spend a day with yourself - roadtrip solo to an outlet mall and hang out, going from shop to shop, noticing that these places always have some kind of chocolate store.
5. Scream! I mean literally, not figuratively, scream. Into a pillow, in the closet, in your obscurely parked car on the side of the road. There is no shame in having emotions, and letting them out. Bottled up emotions often lead to a funk such as this.
1. Stop Procrastinating! Don't put off anything that you can do in a minute or less - just don't. For example: Pick up your dirty clothes that you threw off in a fit of late-for-something-ness and left loitering in the middle of your bedroom. If you don't take care of it now, than later you may look back at it as the origins of a massive pile-o-laundry that has been accumulating in your boudoir for the last 37 days.
2. Rock Out! Turn on some classic 90s alternarock legend like hmm Limp Bizkit or Korn or Smells Like Teen Spirit, get up, and actually move your body. I said move, not sway. In fact, jump around and for five minutes (or longer which is probably recommended, but depending on your health status of course) forget that things aren't necessarily going your way. Like Elle Woods said, "exercise causes endorphins, endorphins make you happy." So go ahead and trick your body, give yourself permission.
3. Drink All Your Troubles Away! No I don't suggest you go out (or stay in) and be a drunken loner in the very my-life-is-a-movie type of way - no background music will begin to play to indicate your mood. Go out with a friend(s), order a mid-size, mid-priced margarita and talk until you realize that maybe some of your funk is stemming from quite silly notions. At the very least this is another great opportunity to trick your body into thinking everything is peachy, and maybe your head will follow. May I suggest a deeply intellectual conversation about something completely superficial that may spark something genuinely interesting in the end.
4. Brush Your Shoulder Off! Like the profoundly popular Jay-Z had us singing. Which in my interpretation means "go shopping!" What better way to get the dirt of your shoulder e.g. your clothes, than buy some new ones. Shopping can be a very zen-like experience if you let it be. Go alone, people only ruin it for you. Enjoy browsing through racks, finding great deals, perhaps picking up a gift for someone special (i.e. your mom - Mother's Day is coming up). You can even make this one interesting, go antiquing or thrift store hunting. Spend a day with yourself - roadtrip solo to an outlet mall and hang out, going from shop to shop, noticing that these places always have some kind of chocolate store.
5. Scream! I mean literally, not figuratively, scream. Into a pillow, in the closet, in your obscurely parked car on the side of the road. There is no shame in having emotions, and letting them out. Bottled up emotions often lead to a funk such as this.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
When Life Happens, and You Don't..
It's inevitable that there will be moments in life when comparatively you will be in a proverbial holding pattern. Everyone around you will appear to be moving on, and you - you are stuck. This happens a lot when people decide to go to back to school instead of focusing on their career or romantic life. It is possible for you to do all three at once, but more than likely not.
Why is that?
Well, most people tend to suffer from tunnel-vision, and although as Americans are trained to multi-task (I'm sure there are other countries with similar tendencies, but I can't speak for them) we don't tend to do it proficiently on a larger scale.
The problem with being in a holding pattern is you start to think that the successes of others indicate a failure on your own part. No, you didn't get that exciting new job. No, you didn't get engaged. No, you didn't buy a new house/car.
You have effectively put these things on hold so that you can accomplish the "grunt work." This endeavor however prominent it may be, presents emotional hurtles. The idea of being stuck does not exactly scream positive connotation. You work and work and work, and as soon as you finish - a new semester starts, and everything goes back to square one. It often feels like you're moving ahead at a snail's pace.
Perhaps the most difficult part is the feeling in your stomach when you know you should be overwhelmed for the joys of others, but feel like when you say it out loud, it seems like you're just pretending - like you're just following the script of social pleasantries.
Stay Strong. Life will move on..eventually.
Why is that?
Well, most people tend to suffer from tunnel-vision, and although as Americans are trained to multi-task (I'm sure there are other countries with similar tendencies, but I can't speak for them) we don't tend to do it proficiently on a larger scale.
The problem with being in a holding pattern is you start to think that the successes of others indicate a failure on your own part. No, you didn't get that exciting new job. No, you didn't get engaged. No, you didn't buy a new house/car.
You have effectively put these things on hold so that you can accomplish the "grunt work." This endeavor however prominent it may be, presents emotional hurtles. The idea of being stuck does not exactly scream positive connotation. You work and work and work, and as soon as you finish - a new semester starts, and everything goes back to square one. It often feels like you're moving ahead at a snail's pace.
Perhaps the most difficult part is the feeling in your stomach when you know you should be overwhelmed for the joys of others, but feel like when you say it out loud, it seems like you're just pretending - like you're just following the script of social pleasantries.
Stay Strong. Life will move on..eventually.
Recessionista Moment of the Day
I haven't run out to pick up OPI's latest and perhaps greatest contribution to nails, their Shatter nail polish (part of the Katy Perry Collection). Although I have complete intentions of doing so. In a moment of genius, or possibly looking for any excuse to procrastinate on writing my latest literary great essay, I decided to paint over my already delicious OPI entrusted nails (retired color: Kinky in Helsinki) with a cheaper brand of black nail polish in the hopes that when the black inevitably chips, it will have a cool effect on the color underneath.
Here's hoping.
If not, I guess this will only serve as a reminder of my need to visit my local OPI retailer..
And on the plus side, my now black nails go perfectly with the theme of my article: Twilight and American Values. So it's a win-win.
Here's hoping.
If not, I guess this will only serve as a reminder of my need to visit my local OPI retailer..
And on the plus side, my now black nails go perfectly with the theme of my article: Twilight and American Values. So it's a win-win.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Day 85 - Barely Holding On
It's April and I'm in the home stretch of my 5 month shopping ban. Only one more month to go, and I've only used one freebie (out of 3). I must admit I hit a wall the other day and virtually almost went off the deep end. I was once again forced into the shopping sphere to purchase a stunning gift for a good friend, when I was bombarded with such a selection that I literally had to leave the store.
The change in season has really got me on the shopping urge thinking about all the lovely new Spring trends available. Now I know, you may be thinking, seriously chica wtf? It's only clothes. But in case you are unaware, for many women (and some men) shopping is a hobby, a zen-like experience, and without such my life has been slightly unbalanced. In an effort to counter-balance and retain some sense of equilibrium, I have been entering a vast number of contests/giveaways - because let's face it, a package in the mail is a package in the mail.
Although, I can admit that shopping is not the end-all, be-all of living, doing things that one finds enjoyable is a crucial part of life. Everyone has responsibilities, things we do because we have to or out of necessity (like work and grad school for me), but it's the other facets of life that make it worth it.
Keep on truckin', folks!
The change in season has really got me on the shopping urge thinking about all the lovely new Spring trends available. Now I know, you may be thinking, seriously chica wtf? It's only clothes. But in case you are unaware, for many women (and some men) shopping is a hobby, a zen-like experience, and without such my life has been slightly unbalanced. In an effort to counter-balance and retain some sense of equilibrium, I have been entering a vast number of contests/giveaways - because let's face it, a package in the mail is a package in the mail.
Although, I can admit that shopping is not the end-all, be-all of living, doing things that one finds enjoyable is a crucial part of life. Everyone has responsibilities, things we do because we have to or out of necessity (like work and grad school for me), but it's the other facets of life that make it worth it.
Keep on truckin', folks!
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