How To Get Over Yourself

To get out of my current funk, I have compiled a list of things to do - to get over yourself.  Yes, I said yourself.  In my experience, most funks are self-induced.

1.  Stop Procrastinating!  Don't put off anything that you can do in a minute or less - just don't.  For example:  Pick up your dirty clothes that you threw off in a fit of late-for-something-ness and left loitering in the middle of your bedroom.  If you don't take care of it now, than later you may look back at it as the origins of a massive pile-o-laundry that has been accumulating in your boudoir for the last 37 days.   

2.  Rock Out!  Turn on some classic 90s alternarock legend like hmm Limp Bizkit or Korn or Smells Like Teen Spirit, get up, and actually move your body.  I said move, not sway.  In fact, jump around and for five minutes (or longer which is probably recommended, but depending on your health status of course) forget that things aren't necessarily going your way.  Like Elle Woods said, "exercise causes endorphins, endorphins make you happy."  So go ahead and trick your body, give yourself permission.

3.  Drink All Your Troubles Away!  No I don't suggest you go out (or stay in) and be a drunken loner in the very my-life-is-a-movie type of way - no background music will begin to play to indicate your mood.  Go out with a friend(s), order a mid-size, mid-priced margarita and talk until you realize that maybe some of your funk is stemming from quite silly notions.  At the very least this is another great opportunity to trick your body into thinking everything is peachy, and maybe your head will follow.  May I suggest a deeply intellectual conversation about something completely superficial that may spark something genuinely interesting in the end.
4.  Brush Your Shoulder Off!  Like the profoundly popular Jay-Z had us singing.  Which in my interpretation means "go shopping!"  What better way to get the dirt of your shoulder e.g. your clothes, than buy some new ones.  Shopping can be a very zen-like experience if you let it be.  Go alone, people only ruin it for you.  Enjoy browsing through racks, finding great deals, perhaps picking up a gift for someone special (i.e. your mom - Mother's Day is coming up).  You can even make this one interesting, go antiquing or thrift store hunting.  Spend a day with yourself - roadtrip solo to an outlet mall and hang out, going from shop to shop, noticing that these places always have some kind of chocolate store.

5.  Scream!  I mean literally, not figuratively, scream.  Into a pillow, in the closet, in your obscurely parked car on the side of the road.  There is no shame in having emotions, and letting them out.  Bottled up emotions often lead to a funk such as this.