Monday, April 6, 2009

7 Rules for Happiness..(a.k.a. standards for my lovin')

I found myself having drinks with my co-workers at Don Pablo's the other night after an always interesting evening of making a fool of one's self for the children's sake. Toward the end of the evening, one of my older yet still hip work "friends" brought up my dating life. Keeping in mind that I am the youngest person working in my building, I often entertain others with my still-acceptable-under-the-age-of-25 life stories. If keeping up with my antics leaves my associates feeling vicariously satisfied, than who am I take this joy away from them?? And after 2 large margaritas, I am definitely down to share my list of what is required to perk my interest these days..which is more of what I consider slightly above mediocre standards (that every girl should have). It's not like I spend my every waking minute considering these types of things, but I am looking for someone more permanent in my life and feel that I should have some idea of what he might (will) be like. I am however more than willing to negotiate slightly on the finer points of these rules.

1. Preferably Latino - I feel like this is not a selfish request..I'm really thinking about my future Mexi-Jew or Jew-Rican children, in the interest of their built-in tan and advantages of being bilingual in today's society. Although, I'm not that I would probably consider hott as an acceptable replacement.
2. Preferable tall - How else am I going to reach the things on the top of the fridge or in the high cabinets? (Getting a step stool every time is way too repetetive for my taste) But once again, not being rigid..i'm only 5"1' (aka 5") so anyone 5"7' or above looks tall to me.

3. Educated - Today a bachelor's degree is like a high school diploma..everyone has one or an equivalent. Since I myself am educated, I realize that not everyone learns the same way, and that leaves alternatives such as the military or tech school. Honestly, I just want to know that you have some sort of drive to further yourself and can suport me and my growing collection of shoes, books, clothes, and random electronics..if at some point in time I find myself ::shutter:: unemployed or on my road to that Ph.D I always dream about. So no wavering on this point! Plus, educated men is a definite turn on for me..

4. NO CHILDREN!!!! - I do not deal with baby mama drama! This is a deal breaker for me..i'm the kid that brings home to detention slip that reads "does not play well with others!" Enough said.

5. Must have a car - Who doesn't remember belting out the words to TLC's "no scrubs" (Hangin' out the passenger side..Of his best friend's ride..Tryin' to holla at me..I don't want no scrub) or Jay-Z's "Can I Get A.." (You ain't gotta be rich but FUCK THAT..How we gonna get around your BUS PASS)?! Sometimes other people say it better than I can.

6. J-O-B - The only exception for not having a decent, respectable job (b.k.a. one that requires a degree) is that you are a) still in school (hopefully to become a doctor, lawyer, or politician) or b) have recently been layed off from your lavish posting due to the recent slump in the economy and are eagerly shopping around the career sites for a new one. If you don't fall into this category..NEXT!

7. A reasonable amount of debt - I'm looking for someone to have a future with..that means someone that does not owe various creditors $30,000 and has defaulted on 17 credit cards. A reasonable amount of "good" debt includes college loans (that's almost of given for anyone now) and a small amount of credit card debt (I myself have acquired that from "living the good life" in college and pretending I was still in college for 1 1/2 years after..)

I'm convinced that far too many women lack standards and that's what leads to so much divorce..and since my family doesn't believe in divorce..I have to get it right the very first time.

My co-workers though I was hilarious..I don't get it?