Monday, October 4, 2010

The Fate of the Mayan in my blood?

I have recently discovered through my illustrious research into the Mayan culture (done not entirely for self-awareness, but entirely for a research paper that my grade in the course will be realized by) that they is a not entirely incredulous or unsubstatiated theory that the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel somehow found there way ("migrated") to Mesoamerica and became better known as the Mayans; aptly titled "The Jewish Theory".  I have wholeheartedly jumped on the bandwagon, as this would explain a lot about my cultural confusion - and why I have for the better part of the last decade believed myself to be at least partially Latina. 

I believe that the Mayans and Jews share a common acestry that would make this theory very plausible..
a)  The Jews built the pyramids in Egypt - why not build a few more (that are better than the original)?!  I mean once you've built a there really anything stopping you??  Come on now, the sky is obviously the limit..and since they built the pyramids to reach the can see where this is going.

b)  The Jews are used to living in unfavorable environments..I give to you as evidence #1:  the 40 years they spent in the dessert.  Enough said..Jungles?  No problem!  At least it rains..

c)  The Jews are known for being good with money.  The Mayans developed one of the earliest systems for counting that money.  Simple Correlation.

Now where this theory becomes a little hazy, is the multiple G-ds thing.  In the infamous words of Whoopi Goldberg (or whoever wrote the screenplay for Sister Act), Jews are "stuck like glue to my Lord."  Note the word, Lord, no plural or any kind.  I believe that I can clear this up by adding that maybe this detour from the Jewish way is why these Jews were punished and this ended up back in the land of misery (a.k.a. Eastern Europe).

I find this argument compelling, and perhaps if archeologists revisit the theory - I must insist they include this train of thought.  

So in conclusion, I could clearly be a descendent of the Mayan Civilization...or I could be Spanish.