Monday, June 6, 2011

MTV's Twi-Opoly

Why should the MTV Movie Awards be renamed the MTV 'Twilight' Awards (for at least the next two shows)?

Well, I'll tell you.

1.  Self-Esteem. Over the last 3 years, the cast of Twilight (and the movie itself) has won the majority of the awards.  No matter how many tweets a minute #teampotter gets in there, Twilight by far dominates the show.  Most categories seem to be a lock for the Twi-hotties and by allowing other actors to compete in these categories almost seems like a jab at their confidence levels (the losers, that is) - like when anyone is up against Meryl Streep, it's just a lost cause. 

2.  Time.  It would save us all a lot of time if they would just announce the awards that are won outside the franchise.  As much as I personally vote for and support the Twilight cast, their acceptance speeches border on pathetic with a twinge of straight-up awkwardness.  This would free up most of the show for exclusive Twilight clips (which would be much appreciated on next years show) and even performances from the cast, since most of them seem to be musically inclined.  We could have Robert Pattinson serenade us with 'Bella's Lullaby" and Jackson Rathbone rock out with his band '100 Monkey's.' It could be like a talent show, and we could vote on the Best Twi-Talent instead of Best Movie as the crown jewel of the evening.  I think it has possibilities.

3.  Built-in Hosts.  If the theme of the night was 'Twilight,' producers wouldn't have to look too hard to find hosts.  It could be a team effort, cementing the bond between Team Edward and Team Jacob fanatics everywhere (plus I see a huge ratings boost in this for MTV).  They could even throw in a little Team Switzerland to meld things together.  Both Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner proved that they can at least pretend, I mean act, like they're funny in the awards show promo clips over the last two years.  If the writers left out the "adlib" portions of the script, I bet these two would make a great team.  At the very least, RPatz could mask his failures by dropping the F-Bomb here and there, distracting the audience and pissing off parents - just like MTV did in its early days (you know, when they played music) - and Taylor could take off his shirt whenever he thought he was losing the audiences interest, the drowning sound of drones would detract from any massive mishap.           

So there you have it, and here's hoping that logic prevails.